Finding Life's Purpose
by CypressTiger
Summary: Wufei has lost many things over the years. Now he gets the chance to gain some back. But maybe some things are better off lost. 2&5 - Angst/Drama/Humor - Rated T for language and adult concepts - Multiple POV
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Wufei has lost many things over the years. Now he gets the chance to gain some back. But maybe some things are better off lost.

Title: Finding Life's Purpose

Working Titles: Story Idea #10; Ten Steps to Happiness; Path to Happiness; Path to Fulfillment; Path to Enlightenment; Moment of Unity; Reunion; Compilation; Support; Help; Aid; Self-Support; Self-Sufficiency; Leading the blind; Blind leading the sighted; Leading those who see too much; Love, Faith and Trust; Purpose

Author: CypressTiger

Anime/Book: Gundam Wing

Rating: PG-13, R for later chapters

Genre: Drama, Angst, Humor, Romance

Pairings: 3x4, 2+5, 2x5?

Date started: May 29th, 2009

Status: In Progress – UNBETAD (About 8 or 9 chapters?)

Warnings for this chapter: None

Author's Note: The point of view changes frequently as indicated by "---". This format can change if it is hard for readers to follow.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. All characters are intellectual and legal property of their respective owners.

---

After the Eve Wars & the Marimaea Incident all five of the Gundam Pilots were recruited into the Preventer Organization. Heero chose to hire on as an emergency reserve Preventer and was quickly scouted by several security firms. Duo picked a part-time role within the Preventer which meant a lot of field time and very little paperwork. The remainder of his time was spent in the junkyard with Hilde. Trowa signed on as an emergency reserve Preventer but spent most of his time equally divided between his sister and his lover. Winner Corporation required a lot of guidance to oversee the repair of the colonies and destroyed Earth Sphere cities. Because of this, Quatre only allowed himself to be listed as an emergency reserve Preventer. Wufei was the only one that signed on as a permanent Preventer, happy to work within a larger organization, content to file paperwork and handle all aspects of his cases.

Wufei was settled in the Preventers Main Headquarters within the L3 colony cluster while Quatre had returned to his family's mansion on the Earth Sphere. Heero traveled among the colonies frequently, taking jobs as needed but remaining in motion. Duo was settled in the L1 colony cluster with Hilde, working out of the satellite Preventer office in the area. Trowa toured the colonies with his sister's circus troupe part of the time and stayed on the Earth Sphere the rest of the time. With the Gundam Pilots spread out among the stars it was rare that more than two of them were reunited for a mission. Most often for specialist missions the closest pair of pilots was called in to lead a group of regular Preventer agents. For instance Wufei had worked with Trowa, Quatre and Heero on occasion but never with Duo. In more recent years, Wufei rarely worked with any of his fellow former pilots, mainly sticking to the office and his paperwork.

Duo had just been granted transfer and advancement from part-time to full-time within the Preventer Organization when this story begins.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Finding Life's Purpose

Author: CypressTiger

Anime/Book: Gundam Wing

Rating: PG-13, R for later chapters

Genre: Drama, Angst, Humor, Romance

Pairings: 3x4, 2+5, 2x5?

Date started: May 29th, 2009

Status: In Progress – fixed but UNBETAD

Warnings for this chapter: minor swearing, foreign insults, poor grammar

Author's Note: The point of view changes frequently and is indicated by "---". This format can change if it is hard for readers to follow.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. All characters are intellectual and legal property of their respective owners.

---

I transferred into the L3 colony cluster after the junkyard hit its' third straight decline in revenue. Sure, we had low points before but this was way too much of a loss. I gave Hilde my half of the yard, wished her luck, and transferred to the Preventers Main Headquarters.

My first day on the "new" job was rather anticlimactic. Paperwork, paperwork, lunch break, paperwork and more paperwork. When we finally got around to the interesting part of the afternoon I was already bored out of my skull and just about any activity would do. On the tour I basically zoned out, not really taking in much more than what my eyes were telling me. The poor tour guide would be so disappointed. People say I haven't changed much in the decade since the war. I have to say I agree with their assessment. I'm still funny, handsome, charming and of course the baddest MS pilot of them all.

I was actually surprised to see Wufei that day. I had expected to have to hunt him down to say "hi." But there he was sitting in the cafeteria/break room with Sally Po, chuckling and smiling. Actually smiling. Not that slick little smirk he used to look at me with. I think the tour guide was caught off guard when Sally waved and called me over. He actually stammered a few moments and fidgeted, adjusting his glasses and acting nervous. Well at least it's good to know that some people never change. I was glad that Sally was still able scare the crud out of the men around her.

"Hey Sally! Good to see you again." I called as I made my way over. Wufei had turned to face me as I approached, the smile softened into a mere quirk of his lips but he didn't seem displeased to see me. "Hey, you," I said softly, nodding to Wufei. I was unsure of how he might receive me after all these years. Just because I've stayed the same doesn't mean other people haven't changed. Mister tour guide was a few feet behind me, shifting from foot to foot, apparently eager to get me back on track. I ignored him.

"So you've finally decided to join up for real, eh, Duo? You sure you're up for the big leagues?" Sally teased, her tongue wedged between her teeth, full grin on her face. Wufei's smirk twitched a little higher. I was about to make a smart alec comment back when Mister tour guide decided to pulled the stick out of his ass and fetch me. He cleared his throat over my shoulder and flinched when Wufei turned to look at him quickly.

"M-Mr. Maxwell we need to finish the tour now." The tour guide seemed like he might have been in pain. He continued to fidget, adjusting his glasses, straightening his already straight tie, clenching his fists. The last one concerned me. Wufei lost his smile when the guide spoke but put it right back on, brighter than before, and obviously fake.

"Agent Lethga… I didn't know you were back from your honeymoon." Wufei's voice seemed softer than the last time I heard it. He certainly seemed more relaxed and laid back with less honor and pride straightening his posture. This by-play was more interesting than any conversation I could have made. I turned one of the cafeteria chairs around and settled in, crossing my arms across the back and leaning in.

"Ah, yes. It was nice. My fia- my wife wanted me to thank you for the suggestion."

"New Edwards, Old California is very pretty this time of year. You'll have to show us the pictures sometime." Wufei's smile quirked up a bit more, as if amused by a private joke. Sally snorted and smiled. An inside joke then. The tour guide – I guess his name was Lethga… yea, he's got a nametag and everything – turned bright red. I wonder if that was somehow a cruel joke aimed at the poor guy directly. He fumbled with his pocket for a moment before tossing a stack of pictures on the table.

"You can leave them on my desk later. Mr. Maxwell, we need to finish the tour before your meeting with the Commander." Stiff backed and formal, Agent Lethga almost barked the orders at me. Alarmed, I stared at him momentarily, eyes comically wide, eyebrows raised.

"Alright… Later Sally," I leaned over and kissed her cheek, she swatted me in the head, "later Chang." I leaned over and kissed his cheek too, just to see if I could get a rise out of him. What surprised me was that he didn't push me away as I got closer, Wufei just sat there, smiling down at the table. When I did kiss him he jerked away suddenly, throwing his hand up in front of his face in defense. He seemed more startled than upset by it. Almost like he didn't see me coming. "Easy, 'Fei it's just a kiss!" I joked, hoping to prod him into one of his entertaining tirades. But he only rolled his eyes at me and didn't say anything, though he did blush a little as he relaxed back into his seat. Sally laughed and stood up.

"We've got to get back to work anyway, don't we Chang?" She came around the table and laid her hand on his shoulder momentarily. "We'll catch up with you later Duo. Stop by our office if you have spare time." Still finishing her sentence, Sally started to walk away. Wufei had a hand on her elbow so I can only assume he was ushering her out to keep her from chatting. I turned to my tour guide, "Lead on Herr Fettkopff"

"What does that mean?" Agent Lethga was still uptight but he was relaxing a little bit, at least enough to talk about more than the features of the building.

"Illustrious leader," I replied. Thankfully I'm very good at poker.

---

Sally walked me back to our shared office and eagerly jumped into a feature by feature detail of how Duo had or hadn't changed. I slouched down in my desk chair and listened avidly. Over the years the relationship between Sally and I evolved and changed into an easy camaraderie. If I didn't have reservations about marriage in general I would have snatched her up long ago. Office gossip, which Sally loves repeating back to me, tends to report that we are secretly lovers sharing a passionate affair and I am in complete denial as to my feelings for her and Sally is on the brink of dragging me down the aisle.

The last bit makes Sally laugh. She's been seeing two or three guys simultaneously for a couple of months now. I can never get them straight. I'm pretty sure that the muscle head from her gym is David; a reference to some long lost statue. The little 'twink' she's 'educating' is Ferris – no, Franklin? Freud? Something. But the guy she's actually DATING I can never remember. I know his voice and could pick him out of a crowded room but I just don't know the guy's name. He's actually really cool. He's fine with her seeing other guys right now. But if they move forward with their relationship they'll need to make up a whole new set of rules.

The phone rang, interrupting Sally's soliloquy. I slipped my ear-piece back on and hit the accept button. After that both of us were very busy. Most of my job now means taking data from field agents and collating all of the small bits of information and turning it into working cases. My computer is high end and very expensive. The technology required for me to do my job effectively was something that Commander Une had to petition extensively for. If she hadn't I would have been jobless. I try my hardest to make sure she never regrets the decision to help me. Near the end of my shift I got called into a strategy meeting to coordinate a pair of strike forces that would be infiltrating the base of an illegal salvage operation I had helped locate. The risk was high and the teams needed to be completely in sync. The meeting lasted long into the night. Sally had a date with 'twink' tonight so I had to find my own way home. The bus station was empty – a welcome relief. Other people were always nervous around me. The driver was new. He was neither helpful nor nice about it. At my transfer, the driver of my next bus was a regular who walked over to say Hi and walk with me back to his bus. I sat up front and chatted with him on the ride to my apartment. Since I was the only one on the bus, he even walked me up to my door. I tipped him like I always did, and he thanked me and wished for God to bless me as he did every time we met. I made my way into my first floor apartment, tapping out a rhythm on the floor as I went.

---

Day two! Equally as boring as day one. I was introduced to my cubicle neighbors and allowed to settle in. One of the superior officers showed up around nine to 'train' me on what my job would be. More paperwork. Joy. I was starting to regret my career choice but I couldn't bring myself to care enough to change my employment again so soon. After the computer training, I got to sit in on a couple of strategy meetings. Wufei was there for a few of them, acting as the "senior strategist" for some of the strike teams. What I found weird was the fact that he never actually told them what to do to make the mission successful. He would ask them to identify certain things and essentially steer them through a check of every small detail. Cross hallways, doorways, windows, overhead obstacles, vents, number of possible insurgents and so on. Every time I saw him enter a room, he was always escorted on someone's arm. Sally brought him in several times, always standing near him, letting him hold her arm as they walked. It was easy to see why people thought they were a couple. Though I also saw Wufei towed into the room on the arm of a baby-faced young agent who was smiling big enough to put the Cheshire cat to shame. Even the Commander herself walked in with Wufei, hand-in-elbow. Something fishy was going on. It's not like Chang would have turned into a wilting flower in the years since I saw him last. I didn't get why he was always seen walking with someone.

Over the next week I decided to do a bit of detective work. We worked on the same floor so I was able to spy on him when I wasn't doing my actual job. His office door was just around the corner from my cubicle but the only person I saw come or go alone was Sally. And when Wufei did leave he was always with Sally or escorted by another agent. It was incredibly frustrating. But on Friday I hit pay-dirt. Wufei ventured out of his cozy little den. He was slowly moving along the hallway to the bathroom, hand trailing on the wall. He disappeared into the bathroom and returned the same way, hand trailing along the wall. Though it wasn't much I still counted the sighting as progress toward re-discovering the illusive fifth Gundam Pilot.

I had been working there for a few weeks when I finally got put onto a strike team. As part of the mission prep my team was told to consult with Agent Chang for strategies. I was not thrilled with it. After weeks of watching him, I was convinced that Wufei had turned into a hermit. I didn't see any point in watching him any more. We were assigned a meeting room and as the new man in the group I was sent on errand duty, which included making copies of the mission plan, fetching the blueprints of the location and collecting our "senior strategist."

Wufei and Sally's office was not what I expected; though I assumed that was more her influence than his if the cartoon villains dartboard was anything to go by. The walls had wanted posters with doodlings on them, as well as a couple of band posters thrown into the mix. The two desks faced each other in the center of the room. The floor was clear of obstacles but Sally's desk was literally covered in inboxes, outboxes and tiny scraps of paper. Wufei's desk was orderly but had no paperwork on it at all. There were two portable digital writing tablets on the desk, a high-end upscale computer with all the bells and whistles, upgraded vidphone system with wireless capabilities. The ear-piece for it was currently nestled in Wufei's left ear while his right had a corded ear-bud tethered to the computer where he was typing a mile a minute. Sally looked up when I knocked softly. She smiled at me and waved me in but gestured for me to be quiet.

"Hey," I whispered, moving up really close to her face and looking down my nose at her, which only made her grin. "Wufei is supposed to give my new team a run down and walk through in meeting room 3."

"Ohmygosh! You're on a team now? Congratulations, Duo!" She whispered back furiously, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me in for a suffocating hug. Behind us I could hear Wufei finishing up a call and slowly disconnecting himself from the various machines. When Sally released me I turned and chuckled, the ear-bud cord had gotten tangled in his jacket button and Wufei was tugging at the cord trying to get it loose and getting nowhere. His other hand was busy shutting down the computer and he was obviously not paying close attention to what he was doing. "Here, let me get that for ya." I said as I reached across both desks and flipped the cord free of his questing fingers. The cord landed on the desk where Wufei was able to roll it up and stow it in his drawer. "My new team wants your expert opinion on our current mission." I explained

Wufei stood slowly, carefully moving the chair back under the desk. "Certainly. Sally do you think–"

"I'll stick around here and answer phones. Duo can take you down there and bring you back. Then after that maybe the three of us could actually go out-out for lunch! Provided we invite the Commander and then bring something for her, of course." Sally smirked at us both, as if challenging us to do something about her. Wufei rolled his eyes and moved around the desk, slowly, leaning against the edges. "If you're ready, Maxwell."

"Sure," I said, I went to the door and was almost gone when I noticed he wasn't behind me. Turning back, I noticed his hand outstretched. I hoped he didn't expect me to escort him. I knew he could make it there on his own. The whole constantly touching other people thing was just not at all like him and it creeped me out. Sighing softly, Sally glared at me before she grabbed a stick-like object off of Wufei's desk and tapped him on the hip with it. Looking relieved, 'Fei took the object from her. He carefully moved the attached elastic cord from around the stick before flicking it out in front of him. The result was a long thin cane, completely white; the cord wrapped around his wrist. Wufei tapped it against the ground a few times to test that it was fully opened before setting off towards the doorway sweeping and tapping the cane as he went.

I didn't move when the cane tapped at my shoes. I let him slowly come to a stop right in front of me, cane held at his side, angled across his body as he looked me right in the eye. Only he didn't. He was focused on my right cheek. I had grown a bit since he last saw me, his aim would have been right on a few years ago but now he was a few inches too low. The awful realization hit me suddenly.

Wufei was blind.

How the hell did this happen?


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Finding Life's Purpose

Author: CypressTiger

Anime/Book: Gundam Wing

Rating: PG-13, R for later chapters

Genre: Drama, Angst, Humor, Romance

Pairings: 3x4, 2+5, 2x5?

Date started: May 29th, 2009

Status: In Progress – fixed but UNBETAD

Warnings for this chapter: minor swearing, pseudo-sexual situations, discussed violence, angst, bad humor

Author's Note: The point of view changes frequently as indicated by "---". This format can change if it is hard for readers to follow.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. All characters are intellectual and legal property of their respective owners.

---

I edged my way past Duo and proceeded down the hall to the meeting rooms. I heard Duo's footsteps rush to catch up before falling into a slightly off tempo rhythm with mine. I could hear him opening and closing his mouth, trying to find the words to ask the question I knew he wanted to ask. I was feeling generous today.

"It was the illegal MS production satellite that started it." I started with the beginning. The gaping mouth noise stopped. We walked slowly; I didn't want to take this conversation off this floor if possible. "During the mission several small MS space skirmishes took place. During one of those battles, my suit took a heavy strike from behind moments before taking a forward hit of similar strength. I was thrown against the harness violently, my head suffered a bit of trauma from the whiplash, but I felt fine. I originally thought I had recovered from the mission. The signs didn't turn up until about a month later. I had been working for several days straight at the time and didn't see the warning signs for what they were. I ignored the floaters that were affecting my eyes, passed them off as tiredness. By the time I finally saw an optometrist, it was almost too late. My right eye was nearly completely blinded and my left was rapidly deteriorating as well. The doctors discovered that the trauma from the battle had caused tears in both my retinas. A rare enough condition but its treatable if discovered early enough. They tried everything they could but all the surgeries they tried failed to repair my right eye. My left eye seemed to have better chances but the surgeries were only partly successful. My right eye was completely blinded. Complete darkness. I'm now legally blind in my left eye. I can see enough to differentiate some shapes and most movement with corrective lenses. Otherwise it's all just a big blur." I paused, unsure how to proceed. I had explained what happened, was I obligated to tell him about what happened since then? We had been friends once; I decided that he deserved to know all of it.

"Adapting was hard at first. Losing the one sense I had relied on so much was traumatizing. I had a hard time doing even the most basic of tasks. Things other people take for granted were impossible. I couldn't drive, I couldn't work as an agent; I couldn't even feed myself without catastrophic results. I had to give up a lot of my independence just to survive. Thankfully Sally was incredibly supportive; staying with me and helping me re-learn nearly every skill. It wasn't easy but I eventually learned enough to get by on my own and Sally was able to move back into her own apartment. Through my rehabilitation I discovered I could still do the paperwork associated with my job without having to rely on my eyesight. It gave me a purpose. Once I had a purpose I stopped merely surviving and started living again. Sally and Commander Une petitioned the board and the funding groups to get the money to allow me to do my work. I have a really fancy set up that is able to read back my words as I type them. It took some getting used to but I'm good at it." I faltered as I encountered a trashcan that had been moved too far into the hallway instead of staying against the wall.

"The office isn't always an easy place to work. I make the some of other agents nervous. I am a living reminder of something that could happen to any one of them at any time. In fact it happened to one of the newer agents last year but because of what happened to me, Lethgo noticed the right signs and they were able to completely repair the tears before he lost much of his eyesight. He has glasses now but he can still see. I'm not bitter about it. After a lot of time moping around my apartment Sally forced a new way of thinking into my stubborn, rattled brain. I couldn't change the past and I couldn't fix the unfixable, so why bother being angry or resentful?" I quirked a small smile. When I noticed Duo had started walking in time with the cane, I changed up the cadence of my cane. I added an extra tap in each sweep, which threw his steps off a bit. I smiled. We paused at the elevator bay. "Actually, if I'm entirely honest, there isn't a single person that really knows how to deal with me. Everyone I seem to encounter is either bothered by me or overly sympathetic and both are equally annoying. I may not have been born this way but I'm perfectly content with my lot in life. I have a satisfying job, a nice apartment and I wouldn't change a thing. Everything I've been through has made me a better person. I'm content with that."

The elevator doors behind me opened up. I could hear one agent in the elevator, hovering at the door. I 'looked' over my shoulder at them. "We're headed down." The agent gulped audibly and scuttled out of the elevator and down the hall. "See what I mean?" I turned and made my way into the elevator. I could tell Duo was right behind me, staring at my back. "What room are we in today?" I asked as the door started to close.

---

"Meeting room three." After that confession I wasn't really sure how to respond. I couldn't do anything but stare helplessly at him. Then I realized I was being overly sympathetic and made myself stop. But as soon as I did that I was instantly uncomfortable. This wasn't working. I had fought in a war with the guy. Fought against him in another. Accepting his stubborn, stuck-up, haughty nature had been easy all those years ago. Had I truly become so narrow minded that I couldn't accept this newer version of my old friend? There was no reason why I should treat him any different now just because he can't see me. I'll just have to turn all my physical gags into verbal ones. Not too much of a hardship; I'm a lot smarter than I look.

"So… the escort service you've got going on… you make a lot of money with it?" The elevator doors had just opened and I got funny looks from a few of the waiting agents. Wufei turned and fixed me with a wide-eyed bewildered look as he followed me out of the elevator slowly. The cane thing was a seriously slow method of moving around. No wonder he had someone tow him around everywhere. "What?" he sounded completely confused. I felt victorious; I smiled at him. I knew he would hear it if he couldn't see it. "Your arm-holding escort service. I'll bet Une tips real good and I'm sure Sally is a kinky girl. And the grin on the face of that one agent from last week…," I grinned while Wufei was overcome with quiet chuckles. He was trying so hard to keep it held in. We couldn't have that now could we? "I don't even want to know what you did with that guy you took into the storage closet." I tried to make my voice sound speculative and disturbed. We had to stop completely. Wufei was laughing so hard he couldn't stand up straight. I slipped my hands in my pockets and watched him.

When he finally got control of himself I nudged him lightly with one of my elbows. He instantly chased his hand up my arm and grabbed onto the offending elbow. I was a bit caught off guard, not realizing I had invited him along or anything. Wufei must have noticed how I stiffened because he seemed ready to let go. I relaxed a bit under his hand. I wanted us to be close again, like we had been after the incident at the Moon Base. He didn't do anything more than keep his hand lightly resting on my elbow. He turned his head toward me. If I didn't know he was blind I would have guessed that he was sizing me up, gauging my reaction to his touch. "Is this okay?" The tentativeness in his voice was painful. I guessed that a good percentage of people didn't know how to act around him and were unwilling to help.

"It's fine, you're gonna have to help me out though, I've never done this before." I confessed, rueful smirk echoing through my voice. Wufei smiled so I knew he could hear it.

---

"Don't worry, no one knew how to handle me when I first lost my sight." I smiled at him, honestly amused. I couldn't quite get over the habit of looking at people when they spoke. I'm almost always off in my guesses in height. "I'll have Sally lend you the videos. Commander Une has been considering adding it to the training curriculum. I've been against it but she's got the entire board and all of our funding groups on her side. She's using the possible lawsuit angle to push it." I paused on that thought a moment. "I suppose there are three ways people respond to me…" Smirking at the thought, I nudged Duo gently into walking forward normally. He was walking very slowly, carefully, but with time he'd get over it. "Well, nervous and pity are two but what's the third?" Duo was clearly looking away from me when he spoke, I could tell from the way his voice was carrying around the hallway.

"It's the people that can't stop helping." I gusted a small laugh. I heard an answering chuckle tremble through the elbow in my hand. The carpet changed texture under our feet. From the short chuffing sound of the short tightly bound cubicle carpet to the longer swishing noise of the cut-pile carpeting by the meeting rooms.

"But she's right you know? The Commander? We should have a handicapped course." Duo sounded honest and earnest, almost eager. "How so?" I asked, curious as to his reasoning. We were paused outside one of the meeting rooms. I could hear voices behind the door so chances were good that we were in front of meeting room three. "Well, it's not like there are very many handicapped people out there. It would be good to know how to deal with them in case it happens during a mission or even in real life. Knowing how to treat a handicapped person is a valuable skill." I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that one. I really hoped Duo didn't turn out to be an over-helpful person. Handicapped people aren't any different from normal people. There's no need to treat them any different than how you treat everyone else. I was about to comment when he continued on. "And not to bring this back up but I just can't believe there was nothing they could have done to fix this." I raised my eyebrows, confused by his anger. "What do you mean, Duo?

"It's just…." The gusty sigh seemed to diffuse his anger and brought out the pity. Great all three types rolled into one. Couldn't Duo make up his mind about anything? "Isn't there a high success rate for stem cell repair? Optical surgery isn't the barbaric thing it was a century or two ago! You can't honestly tell me they tried every single option and it all failed!" And right back to the anger, were we? I sighed deeply and closed my eyes to try and keep myself from snapping at him.

"You are right. Stem cells are used to repair injuries like this and optical surgery is inexpensive and very successful. But we really tried everything I was willing to go through. They tried using laser surgery to repair the tears. They tried pinning the macula back into place and injecting stem cells to repair the damage but it didn't work. They even attempted to create a whole new retina. But when they suggested cutting out my eyes and attaching new ones I said no."

"Well, why not?" Duo asked. I reached out and found the door handle with relative ease. I knew where this conversation was going. Duo continued undeterred, "Isn't there like a 75 percent chance of success with partial brain replacements? It's got to be similar for the eyes." I opened the door and delivered my parting shot as a whisper.

"Because… I would rather live blind with my mother's eyes, than spend a single day sighted with a stranger's."

---

Author's Note: I hate making these but I thought I'd mention that I carefully looked into all the facts in this story. Retinal Detachment is a real medical issue that I urge you to look up and learn more about. As to Wufei's current status of vision, he cannot see out of his right eye. His left eye can be compared to a piece of clouded glass. He can make out light and some color but not much else.

Thanks to those who reviewed! I was amazed at how well this story was doing. Blown away! Thank you so so much! You have no idea how much those kind words meant to me.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Finding Life's Purpose

Author: CypressTiger

Anime/Book: Gundam Wing

Rating: PG-13, R for later chapters

Genre: Drama, Angst, Humor, Romance

Pairings: 3x4, 2+5, 2x5?

Date started: May 29th, 2009

Status: In Progress – UNBETAD

Warnings for this chapter: minor swearing, pseudo-sexual situations, discussed violence, angst, bad humor

Author's Note: The point of view changes frequently as indicated by "---". This format can change if it is hard for readers to follow.

***Chapters 2 and 3 were re-uploaded with minor edits. No need to re-read them***

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. All characters are intellectual and legal property of their respective owners.

---

The meeting was … in a word? Awkward. Uncomfortable. We practically danced around each other all afternoon. He never asked me a direct question and even without his sight he managed to avoid looking at me. Wufei was as professional and effective as always but I just knew that the shaky friendship we had was endangered. We went over the steps of the mission carefully. We counted doorways, points of entry, possible bottlenecks and hazards. Things that I saw in a different light now. Unfortunately the mission was complicated enough that we wound up working through the lunch period and well into the afternoon.

Knowing what to look for, I could see things I hadn't noticed before. I don't know how I missed the signs. Wufei never looked directly at the map during the meeting. He always asked for a statistic and then followed with a leading question that helped us spot the danger zones ourselves. To be honest, his blindness had made him a very effective teacher. I don't think a single one of us stepped away from that meeting feeling instructed. We had done all the work ourselves with only a few guiding questions. When the meeting finally came to an end, Agent Diipa reminded us of our training room simulations that were scheduled for tomorrow morning. I hung back. I wanted to walk Wufei back to his office. Hopefully we could work this thing between us out before it got to be a problem. Unfortunately Aiden Diipa, our team leader, waved me off, asking Chang if he would stick around to answer some more questions.

I was mulling over my apology options in the elevator bay when the doors opened up to reveal Sally. She grinned and burst out talking right away. "I was just coming down to get the two of you! You've been holed up in there all day, it's almost quitting time. Where's Chang?" She was still the same assertive, energetic person she was this morning. It seemed like a million years since we last spoke. "Diipa wanted to work on strategies so he's still… in there," I sighed and slouched against the opposite wall, my appetite lost. Sally is a girl so it's only natural that she knew something was up without me even saying anything. Though I'm sure I gave it away somehow.

"What's wrong, Duo? What'd you do? Did you guys fight or something?" Sally looked honestly concerned but the fact that she automatically assumed it was my fault stung a bit. I thought I had grown out of this hormonal teenager stage, easily hurt by the wrong words. Although I was never really a hormonal teenager to begin with; maybe I was relapsing. Is this what a mid-life crisis is? Sally was still staring at me, looking concerned. I realized she was waiting for an answer. "Yea we… kinda fought I guess. I think I offended him," I was reluctant to admit it. Sally pursed her lips, narrowed her eyes and propped her hand on one hip. The ultimate angry woman pose.

"Spill."

The one word made me cringe, just like nails across a chalkboard. I hated that word. Especially when it was delivered by a woman intent on dragging the truth out of you inch by painful inch. I was still pretty miffed that I was being blamed for Wufei's hissy fit. "All I said was that even if treatments didn't fix his eyes they could still replace them with another set of eyes and he said something about rather being blind than looking through a strangers eyes or something like that. He was just being over-sensitive. I didn't mean any offence by it!" Angry and embarrassed, I crossed my arms in front of myself defensively. Sally sighed and grabbed my shirt collar before dragging me forcefully toward the elevator. When the door opened, she proceeded to drag me inside. When we reached the right floor, she kept her grip on my shirt and hauled me across the floor to her shared office. Everyone on the floor was staring at us. A few were shaking their heads, amused I'm sure; but a few were cringing away or hiding behind potted plants. I figured I wasn't the first to upset Wufei, nor was I the first to receive the royal reaming Sally was sure to give me.

When the office door shut behind us with an ominous click, Sally turned me loose. Rubbing at my neck I shied away from her as discretely as possible. Which was pretty darn hard what with her steely gaze pinning me to the spot. Sally took a deep breath and I ducked my head and scrunched my eyes shut; somehow it's easier to get yelled at with your eyes closed. I heard her desk chair creak under her weight and I dared to open an eye and glance over at her.

Sally was sitting at her desk with her head held in her hands. "Duo, I'm sure you were just curious. I'm sure you were just trying to figure out why your best friend decided not to have a relatively safe operation to get his sight back. I'm sure you weren't trying to make a fuss or push him into trying it or anything like that. But Duo," Sally looked up at me and I could see tears in her eyes, "Wufei has been trying so hard to be alright for all of us. Even when it's hard and he's really struggling he keeps on acting like everything's fine and normal… and he succeeds, usually. But the one thing that he can do to make things truly normal again, he refuses to do. I think it's because he doesn't want to go back on his beliefs. I spent time in the traditionally classified 'eastern' regions of the Earth Sphere while I was an ensign with OZ. Wufei has never explicitly stated it but I think I understand why he gets so upset when someone suggests complete eye replacement. For Chinese children, their bodies are gifts from their parents. I think they may have explained genetics by saying something to the effect that the parents give up parts of themselves to make their children. Because of that, the practice of essentially marketing and selling human body parts is seen as an insult. Piercings and tattoos are rebellions and suicide is seen as a shameful waste" Sally paused and looked up at me. I had unconsciously moved closer to the desk while she was speaking, I shifted my weight and rested a hip against her desk, trying to look casual.

"It's just speculation but I'm pretty sure that this is what Wufei was raised to believe. It makes sense that he would rather keep what he believes are his parent's eyes even if they don't necessarily work anymore." Sally bit at the corner of her lip a bit. "I know you didn't mean any harm but I think that we should just try to help Chang feel as normal as possible. He tries so hard for us, it's the least we can do if we do the same for him." Sally leaned back into her desk chair and sighed heavily. A knock on her door preceded a female agent poking her head in the door to say goodbye for the day. Sally spared a glance at the clock before responding to the invading agent. Once the door was closed again, I was struck with Sally's evil stare.

"I think you should take Wufei home today. It'll give you both a chance to talk this out. The last agent that suggested that Chang get the surgery was ignored for a week. He really needs to have you on his side for support. Not that he'll ever admit to it." I shifted uncomfortably when Sally pretty much called me out and put me on the spot. I didn't want to have to admit that she was right. It would just make her impossible to work with.

"I don't even know where he lives and I highly doubt I'll even get him in the car with me let alone getting him to give me directions." Hoping to get out of the office before she could corner me into the chore, I moved toward the door.

"Nice try. I'll give you directions and you can grab Wufei in the elevator bay on your way downstairs. You're not getting out of this one, Duo Maxwell!" She thrust a slip of paper in my face and shoved me out of her office. I sulked the entire way as I walked down to the elevator bay to wait for Wufei to show up. I started to work on my speech while I waited. I knew I was in the wrong but I was unsure how to really apologize for it. I was getting pretty worked up about the possible conversation while I waited for Wufei to show up. 'Fei didn't. Aiden Diipa, however, did. "Hey! Woah, Diipa, where's Chang?" I snagged my team leader's jacket as he brushed by me.

"Chang? He said he was headed home so I walked him to the lobby. Why? Did you need something?" I swore pretty loudly which only got me some dirty looks from Diipa and the other agents nearby. "Yea," I responded, "Shit, I'm gonna go see if I can catch him."

"It's too late, Duo! The bus left ten minutes ago!" Well screw that. I'll just meet him at his apartment. If traffic cooperates I'll even beat him there.

---

After the extremely long meeting with Maxwell's group and the private question and answer session with Agent Diipa I was exhausted. I just wanted to go home and lay down. I just wanted this impossible day to be over. By now Duo and Sally would have met up and discussed my little "hissy fit." I knew that Sally was just going to lecture me on my sensitivity and on forgiveness. Instead of facing that, I just punched out and left. Agent Diipa is a very exuberant person and more than happy to help me downstairs. He's certainly very nice but maybe just a little too eager to make a name for himself. It was tiring. The bus station had more than one person milling around, waiting. The quiet chatter left me feeling a bit more lonely than usual. I was in such a strange mood today. Wanting to be alone and yet regretting it when I got what I wanted. Getting on the bus was difficult today; the driver was new and was impatient.

Snapping at Duo was a mistake. He didn't know how I felt about the subject. He was only trying to help. Duo had to be feeling bad about it too, he wasn't cruel. When it got time for my bus transfer I almost stayed on the bus that would take me back to headquarters so I could apologize. But the trip back to HQ would take twenty-five minutes when I could call Duo from my apartment in five minutes. I was distracted and barely made it on the bus. This driver was also a new one. I just couldn't catch a break today.

"Excuse me. I need to get off at 4310 Forsythia Boulevard, please." I tried to smile winningly. Being nice usually worked better than being myself did. The driver sighed heavily and I swear I could hear him rolling his eyes. "Just pull the cord when we get close." I heard him pull the door shut behind me. I suppose I could work it out on my own. I knew it was a five minute bus ride without stopping so as long as I got off at the right time I should get reasonably close to my apartment building. How hard could that be?

It was almost exactly five minutes when I tried to find the pull cord. Thankfully another passenger needed to get off or I may have overshot my apartment by nearly a mile. I carefully made my way off the bus and moved away from the curb. I stood off to one side, one foot on the sidewalk and one foot on a patch of grass, staying out of the way until the bus pulled away. I wasn't quite sure if I was too far or not far enough down Forsythia Boulevard. Thankfully this wasn't the first time this had happened and I was well prepared. I pulled out my key ring and fumbled for the large piece of plastic I was looking for. Thumbing the largest button on the key fob I heard a car alarm go off a short distance down the street. I got off the bus too early, then. At least I wasn't too far away from my apartment. Following the sound of the alarm until I was nearly deafened by it; I managed to find my apartment building. Disengaging my useless car's alarm I continued forward, sweeping my cane out in a wider arc to find the cross path to the apartment door. This was the easy part, no more surprises or unknown terrain from here on in. Difficult bus drivers aside, I made it home in record time. I started to plan what I would say to Duo when I called him.

Would I start with an apology or should I explain why I reacted that way first? Apology first, I decided. Duo didn't deserve being snapped at and ignored all afternoon. The front door of the apartment building hesitated before it closed but it's been doing that lately. I didn't think anything of it. Working out how to explain my complicated personal philosophy to Duo I easily dismissed the quiet sound of footsteps behind me. When I heard a louder noise following me down the hall I paused to listen for it but all I could hear were the neighbors across the hall arguing…again. Their screaming matches were legendary. I have never fought with a person like that, and hopefully I never will. They must either hate each other immensely or love each other dearly; I'm not quite sure which. I could hear one of them telling the other to leave so I quickly unlocked my front door, hoping to escape them before they spotted me. As my front door swung open before me I felt a hand suddenly grab my shoulder.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Finding Life's Purpose

Author: CypressTiger

Anime/Book: Gundam Wing

Rating: PG-13, R for later chapters

Genre: Drama, Angst, Humor, Romance

Pairings: 3x4, 2+5, 2x5?

Date started: May 29th, 2009

Status: In Progress – UNBETAD

Warnings for this chapter: minor swearing, pseudo-sexual situations, discussed violence, angst, bad humor

Author's Note: The point of view changes frequently as indicated by "---". This format can change if it is hard for readers to follow.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. All characters are intellectual and legal property of their respective owners.

---

Traffic was a snarling horrific hell-beast today and Wufei beat me to his apartment by a few minutes. I saw the door to his apartment building closing just as I turned onto his street. I parked in the visitor section of the corresponding lot and walked over to his building. The unsecured front door surprised me. Seemed like something Wufei would have cared about having. The front door just about took my leg out at the ankle, it closed so quickly. I glanced down the hall toward Wufei's apartment and I didn't see him. What I did see was a half-naked man, picking up his clothes from the floor and swearing at the top of his lungs. I can only assume he was talking to his girlfriend/ex-girlfriend if "over-sensitive harpy bitch" was anything to go by. I knocked on Chang's door and took a step back, watching the guy curse and collect his belongings. At least he put jeans on to cover his 'I love my girlfriend' boxers. It was so pitiful I felt bad even standing in the same hallway with him.

When the poor guy finally left the building, swearing and stomping, I knocked on Wufei's door again. "Come on, Wufei. I know you're in there." The door behind me opened up and a pretty girl ran out screaming at the top of her lungs. I can only assume she was the girlfriend/ex-girlfriend of I-love-my-girlfriend-boxers-man. I guess they were getting back together since she was saying things like "I'm sorry" and "you're a complete bastard but I love you." What a strange couple.

"Wufei," I knocked a third time. "This is ridiculous! Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried. Your eyes are your business and I was just being stupid. I mean we're both as stubborn as mules and I guess I was just trying to get a better understanding of the situation... Could you let me in so we could talk about this? Sally really wants us to talk this out." I sighed heavily and leaned against the door. My head fell against the door with a dull thud. "Wufei, please, I don't want to fight with you…. At least open the door so I can apologize to your face." I paused for a moment and I heard the faintest tapping noise that echoed lightly on the drywall, it was three short taps and two taps separated by a longer pause. "Alright, 'Fei, I can take a hint. If you don't want to talk I'll just leave." I fell back a step, hoping and praying for a response.

---

He didn't hear it! The Preventer shorthand communication for 'danger.' Three short, two long. Duo didn't hear my signal and now I was trapped alone with this intruder. I can't believe I let some stranger sneak up on me like that. I should have been able to fight him off easily but I was so panicked by his attack that I forgot everything. I forgot the new training I went through, I forgot the old training that relied on my sight too much. I could have disarmed him! I could have made an escape! If I hadn't been so distracted I would have noticed him following me a lot sooner. Hearing the footsteps disappearing down the hall, my assailant pulled me away from the wall and shoved me backward into the room. I landed heavily against a chair, knocking it to the ground. I could hear him moving around the apartment now, throwing things; breaking them. I heard a few things shatter as they hit the ground. I tried to regain my feet but even when I was standing I couldn't get very far. My cane had been tossed somewhere into the room when my assailant first grabbed me. I knew my apartment pretty well but I was disoriented. My attacker had thrown me against the wall pretty hard when he first forced his way into the apartment and I couldn't rule out a concussion. I tried out the old fashioned sweep-your-arms-out method to try and find the table. Success made me giddy, I was at least one step closer to escape.

Carefully, feeling the edge of the chair with my foot and squaring off against the table I was able to figure out what direction I was facing and where the door was in the room. I heard my assailant enter the bedroom, he was now the furthest from me that he could possibly be. It was now or never. I made a run for the door, hands outstretched in front of me. Behind me I could hear my attacker's racing footsteps against the hardwood floor. He must have been waiting for me to make a move. Just as my fingers brushed the wood of the apartment door I felt my assailants arms wrap around my waist and haul me away. I didn't go down so easily this time. I kicked at him and struggled but he was easily a foot taller than I was and significantly stronger as well. A swift blow to the head from one of his sledgehammer sized fists and I stunned long enough to become trapped against the wall; my hands clasped together above my head. I took a breathe to shout, hoping to bring my neighbor's attention. My assailant countered with the cold bite of a knife against my throat. My attacker's dark sinister laughter sent chills down my spine. This was by far the single most terrifying moment of my life.

---

The door gave way easily under my foot. Moving with the momentum from the kick, I turned and got behind the intruder before the door even hit the wall. He turned as I came up behind him, startled, I think. Instead of using Wufei as a hostage he came at me with the knife. The wail of distance police sirens started to make their way through the thin walls of the building. I was glad I had called for backup first -as per Preventer protocol- instead of just rushing in to save the day without thinking. I grappled with the burly guy and managed to knock him to the ground and roll him onto his stomach. Somehow I was miraculously able to pin his arms back and disable him. I heard the police charging down the hallway towards us. The officers who arrived quickly handcuffed the perpetrator and confiscated the knife from where it was lying on the ground. With the intruder safely in police custody I finally had a moment to glance over at Wufei. He was still standing where he had been when I busted the door in.

I had to check my watch. It seemed like the whole tussle took forever but in reality the entire encounter took only a matter of minutes. Wufei looked terrified, his hands clenched tightly into white-knuckled fists. I moved over to Wufei's side and grabbed onto his arm. I wound up getting punched for my effort. "OW, 'Fei! What the hell!" Not what I expect to be the first thing I said to him. I had planned on it being an apology. I rubbed at my chest. For being blind he sure had a hell of a punch.

"Oh, God, Duo! Why didn't you say something? I thought you were going to hurt me. I don't know what's going on." Wufei rubbed at his arms and his eyes darted around the room. More carefully this time, I settled my hands onto his shoulders. "It's okay now. You're safe. I took out the bad guy and the police are going to take him away." He was trembling under my hands. I can't imagine how frightening it must have been for him to not see what was going on. "Why didn't you say anything?" 'Fei asked. I hadn't even realized. I had been completely silent right up until he punched me. Wufei wouldn't have had the slightest clue as to what was going on. "I'm sorry. I didn't think." I tried to come up with something better to say but I just couldn't. "I'm sorry," I repeated. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. This was the most awkward I'd felt in a long time. When Wufei nodded shakily, I let my arms fall away. The police officer behind me cleared his throat. Boy, this was gonna be a long night.

---

I suffered through the questioning of both police officers. I patiently sat through the questions of their superior officer when he arrived as well. I waited and waited and waited. These long Q&A sessions were not unfamiliar to me but I had never been on this side of the questions before. I only thought I was tired before, I was completely exhausted now. The sound of my things being documented and photographed disturbed me. I couldn't even see for myself how bad the damage was. I could only go by the mutterings of the officers. This was a nightmare. The sound of broken glass kept echoing through the room, further demonstrating how much the intruder had destroyed. It was the saddest sound I'd heard in years.

A hand grabbed my arm suddenly. I wrenched my arm away, angry at being shoved around and maneuvered as if I was some type of unthinking doll. I was tired and more than willing to be completely stubborn and difficult. "Sorry," Duo muttered behind me. In an instant I felt horrible. If it was possible, I felt even more tired than before. Duo didn't deserve my anger and resentment. I let him grab onto my arm and tug me along. With my slightly working left eye I could tell that the lighting changed as we moved. I guessed that we were in another room. The light switched on. Across the room I could see a dark blob among light colored blobs. The pattern of blobs in this room matched the pattern of blobs in my bedroom. I sighed, "Thank you," to Duo as I moved unerringly over to the bed.

I crawled onto the bed and pulled the pillow over my head. There was no way I was getting out of this bed before nine AM tomorrow morning. Ignoring the noise in the living room was easy; ignoring Duo was harder. He carefully sat next to me on the bed. His hand was hovering over my back; I could feel it. Having him so close to me and just barely avoiding contact made my skin crawl. I heard him sigh, "Come on Wufei. You need to get packed and I don't think you want me pawing through your stuff."

"What's the difference?" I asked, shoving up and turning to glare in his general direction. "The police are already out there pawing through what's left of my living room!" I caught myself just a moment too late. My temper has always been my biggest flaw. I was angry, rightfully so, but Duo didn't deserve to be snapped at. "I'm sorry, Duo…. I was out of line, I shouldn't have snapped at you. You rescued me, you're helping me out now and I'm being ungrateful. I'm sorry." Physically exhausted and emotionally drained I just pulled my knees into my chest and sat there. I wanted to just take this entire day, wad it up into one big ball of stress and fear and throw it out the window. Instead, I cradled my head between my hands and my knees and tried to block everything out.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Finding Life's Purpose

Author: CypressTiger

Anime/Book: Gundam Wing

Rating: PG-13, R for later chapters

Genre: Drama, Angst, Humor, Romance

Pairings: 3x4, 2+5, 2x5?

Date started: May 29th, 2009

Status: In Progress – UNBETAD

Warnings for this chapter: minor swearing, pseudo-sexual situations, discussed violence, angst, bad humor

Author's Note: The point of view changes frequently as indicated by "---". This format can change if it is hard for readers to follow.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. All characters are intellectual and legal property of their respective owners.

---

I got Wufei packed up in a matter of minutes without his help. I found enough clothes for the rest of the week and managed to collect everything he might need from the apartment. There were probably some things that he was going to miss but hopefully Sally and Wufei would be able to sort out the mess tomorrow or the day after. I left Wufei alone in the bedroom in his catatonic state while I went outside to stash his things in my trunk. His apartment wasn't too bad off from the burglar but the police had only made things worse while they were documenting evidence. There were a few smashed portraits and what looked to be a pricey glass vase had shattered and then been tracked all across the hardwood floor. The extent of the damage was insulting in and of itself. If nothing had been broken, I think Wufei would still have been just as freaked out by it but losing possessions in the process just made things worse.

I wanted to understand what 'Fei was going through. I wanted to help him out and fix the things that were broken. The physical objects can be fixed and replaced but emotional problems are harder. This was way out of my league. I'm certainly the most tactile of the five of us Gundam Pilots but Quatre was always the emotionally connected one. I'm just not qualified for this. This was not good. I was at a loss as to what to do. Looking for guidance I took the opportunity of being alone outside to call Sally on her cell. The phone buzzed several times before it picked up.

[Hello?]

"Hey Sally! Listen, Wufei was attacked in his apartment and he's pretty shaken up about it. I'm not sure what to do with him now that's he's all upset so I'm going to drop him off at a hotel for the night. I thought I'd let you know what was going on so you could help him clean up his apartment tomorrow."

[Duo Maxwell, if you leave him in a hotel I will cut off your braid and strangle you with it!]

"Easy!"

[No, I'm serious! You just said he was shaken and upset! You can't just abandon him in a strange environment when he's already feeling vulnerable! What kind of friend ARE you?]

"The kind that saves their friends from vicious attack right in the knick of time? And I never said anything about him being vulnerable, you crazy-lady."

[He may not want to admit it but if he's been attacked then I'm sure he's feeling at least a little vulnerable. Just keep him at your place tonight, Duo. I'll talk to you BOTH later, I'm a bit busy at the moment.]

In the background I could hear a youngish man's voice, calling for her. It was disturbing. "I don't think this is such a good idea, Sally. I'm not good with these emotional situations at all. What do I do with him?"

[Oh my god, Duo! He's a fully-grown human being not an infant! He can take care of himself. Just be there for him. Just be his friend. You can do that much, Duo. But listen, I've got to go. I've got to untie Ferris before his hands turn blue. I catch up with you two soon.]

Sally hung up before I could respond. I admit I stood in the parking lot for about ten seconds before the sickening realization crept over me. "Gross!" I couldn't help but announce as I shook my head and tried to dislodge the disturbing imagery. I always pegged her for a hardcore dyke but thinking of her in a female-dominant heterosexual relationship creeped me out for some reason. She was practically a sister to me so I guess that's where I found the whole thing to be weird. I really didn't want to know that type of thing about Sally. Resigned, I made my way back inside, shaking my head as I went. Wufei was still sitting on the bed where I had left him. His despondent attitude over the incident was disturbing. Maybe Sally was right. Maybe he was feeling vulnerable from the situation but really, Wufei didn't seem like the type of person to be discouraged like this. But, then again, I hadn't seen him for years. Things change. I sat down next to him and tentatively slipped an arm around him, unsure of my reception.

---

The warmth of Duo's arm was a comfort I was unwilling to admit I needed. Duo and I sat together, still and quiet, for a long time. This was the first time since the accident that I truly felt handicapped. This situation forced me to open my eyes, so to speak. I suppose I was lucky to only feel this way after years with my disability. I felt completely open and exposed; naked, almost. The sad part was that I had always assumed that if I were attacked in such a fashion I'd be able to defend myself easily. How wrong I was. Duo didn't push or pry. He just sat with me while I tried to get my emotions back under control. I wondered what had happened to the tight control I had been known for during the war. Somewhere during the past several years it had dissolved. I no longer had its protection in these types of situations.

What was I going to do now?

Duo patted my arm gently and stood up from the bed. I guessed that it was time to go. I didn't want to leave but anywhere had to be safer than here. Plus with all the broken things in the living room I would only end up hurting myself. As reluctant as I was to admit it, this was the best option open to me right now. I let Duo pull me off of the bed and lead me out of the room. Moving from my bedroom to the living room, to the hallway, to the street, to his car, I remained unresisting in a trance-like state. I could feel Duo's hands on me as he fastened a seat belt around me. I didn't care. I didn't want to think about anything for a long time. I didn't want to feel. When Duo finally settled into the driver's seat and the car rumbled to life, I laid my head against the window and closed my eyes.

The ride was relatively short. When Duo parked the car I stayed motionless, resting against the window. I heard him digging in the truck, presumably fetching my bags. The trunk slammed shut. I faintly heard Duo's footsteps fade away from the car. As soon as I was alone I panicked. I couldn't be alone here! I sat up and unbuckled my seatbelt. I was scared something would happen again. Fear made me move. I carefully opened my car door and found that it swung open freely without hitting anything. Duo hadn't put my cane in the car anywhere that I could tell so I was literally stranded.

Carefully putting my feet down outside of the car, I tested the ground to make sure it was stable. It was. I moved my feet out to check for any immediate obstacles. There were none. I gripped the top of the door and used it to help steady myself as I left the car. Before I could go anywhere I heard Duo call my name from a short distance.

"Wufei! What are you doing? I thought you were asleep." Duo must have run over because in no time he was grabbing my arms and ushering me away from the car door. I heard the door slam behind me and Duo took a shuffled step away from me, dropping his hands from my arms. "Oh, your cane. Hang on, it's still in the trunk." Duo left me and I could hear the sound of the trunk locks disengaging. "You brought it along?" I asked, pleased and disappointed at the same time. At least he was thinking ahead for my independent mobility. At the same time I felt a bit disappointed that he would probably continue avoiding most physical contact with me. All these conflicting emotions were confusing.

"Here," Duo said as I felt the leather grip of my cane pressed into hand. "Thanks." I responded automatically. The cane really didn't do me too much good. I had no idea where I was or where I was headed. Duo surprised me by grabbing my free hand and pulling it up. I instinctively moved my hand to his elbow; concerned he wouldn't like me clinging to him like a limpet. I'm rather ashamed to admit that I was surprised when Duo didn't dislodge my hand as he walked carefully away from the car. He was being incredibly decent about everything.

---

Getting Wufei into my apartment was a lot easier than I expected. I was able to navigate him up the stairwell without any slips or trips, which put my mind to ease. Hopefully this wasn't going to be as hard as I feared. I settled Wufei on the pulled-out futon I had quickly set up while he was in the car. "Well, um, the bathroom's to your left along the wall behind you…. And my bedroom is just past it… uh… Do you need to know where anything else is?" Wufei looked up at me solemnly, his face mostly expressionless. "Not really. Is there anything on the floor I could trip on or anything above my head that I could run into?"

The question threw me off and I actually had to look around to check. "Uh… not in here. There are wall cabinets in the bathroom and kitchen but the bottom edge is about shoulder height in both rooms so you shouldn't hit your head on them." Wufei nodded and looked around a bit. Sometimes it was really hard to believe he was blind. He never acted like it; well, that is, he never acted like I expected him to.

"Are you alright?" I asked and instantly regretted it. It was a cheap question and I didn't expect more than a token response. Of course he wasn't alright but he would just tell me he was fine and tear himself up inside. He did this when his colony blew up. Bottled everything up inside until he was alone. Wufei seemed to be biting on the inside of his lip, deep in thought. I thought that he might be really ready to open up to me about what was bothering him. Then I worried that he may actually do just that. I secretly hoped he held out on me for the rest of the night and unloaded it on Sally instead. I've said it before, I'm not an emotionally driven person. This type of this usually ends up blowing up in my face. Hilde likes to say that I'm emotionally retarded. I'm friendly enough but it's never anything deeper than face value.

"No." Wufei looked up at me like I had just announced that I knew the cure to all sickness. Raw hope plastered across his face. Hope I would be able to set it right I suppose. "I'm not alright. I'm really freaked out right now. I mean I couldn't even sit in the car alone for a few minutes without having a near panic attack." He perched his dropped his hands between his legs; elbows perched on his knees. Wufei let his whole body slump forward and his head dropped to his chest. "I thought I would be able to protect myself if something like this ever happened. Do you have any idea how it feels to suddenly realize everything you ever believed about your abilities is wrong? It's as if I lost what little purpose that I thought I had in life. I can't trust myself to be independent anymore and that's … devastating."

"That's not even true, 'Fei. You've been blind for a couple of years, right? And this is the only time something like this has ever happened so you must be doing something right. Sally usually takes you home right? So maybe you just need to stop taking the bus home unless you're being escorted. Or you can start carrying pepper spray with you. Plus I'm sure there are some of those wicked martial arts moves you can still use to kick some butt. It's really just a matter of relearning things."

"But I've already had to relearn nearly everything. Discovering that there is still more for me to learn is incredibly disheartening." Wufei looked away and I could tell that he was saying exactly what he was feeling. I couldn't figure if there was anything bottled up inside that incredibly open expression of his. I sat down next to him, putting my hand in his when he straightened up. Our fingers laced together with ease. "Maybe you just need to look for your life's purpose."

"What do you mean?" Wufei had turned his head to look at me. He was off again and this time I gently moved his head up a bit so he'd be looking in the right spot from now on. He smiled a bit at that, seeming embarrassed and chagrined. "Well, you've got one purpose already right? Working with the Preventers and making a difference. But what you really need to find is your life's purpose. I read this book of Hilde's once, about the subject. Basically we go through life with different purposes. Children often succeed in fulfilling their purpose; which is why kids are so happy. As adults we aren't as happy because we make our purposes harder. But the purpose that is the most important is called our life's purpose. I think you need to find this purpose, whatever it is. Because I really don't think working for the Preventers is your life's purpose. Your job just doesn't make you the happiest person in the world." I paused to tighten my fingers around his and nudge his shoulder with mine gently. Hoping to soften the words a bit. "When you do find that one thing that makes you the happiest you need to hang onto it and never let it go."

The door buzzer went off so I had to let go of Wufei's hand to answer it. Sally was at the main door and I buzzed her up. I hadn't realized she had my address. She's a sneaky one that lady. I glanced at 'Fei while I was buzzing Sally in, he seemed happier. Calmer at least. It really pleased me to know he was feeling better now. When Sally made it to my apartment we exchanged equally humorous barbs and I let her inside. She took two steps, had one good look at Wufei and then hugged me. I think my eyebrows had to be comically high immediately after because she just grinned at me. "You know, Duo for someone who claims to be horrible at the emotional stuff, you're not too bad at it. Not bad at all."

---

Author's Note: No, this book does not exist I'm pretty much making this stuff up as I go, contrary to every other bit of this story which was meticulously researched.

Also, Holy Crud, Guys! This is unbelievable how amazingly supportive all of you have been! I was literally squealing in my living room last Wednesday when I got the first of the ch.5 reviews. I absolutely love ALL of my reviewers and readers and I feel so humbled by your reactions to my writing. Words cannot express my gratitude. There are so many people I'd like to thank for their support but I don't want to take up too much space so I'll just give a quick shout out to the following people for being way beyond supportive of my work so far: darkpanthress, Cinnamon Selkie, snowdragonct (I so look forward to your reviews!), TarotCard87 and windwraith

Only one more chapter to go! (make it short & sweet)


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Finding Life's Purpose

Author: CypressTiger

Anime/Book: Gundam Wing

Rating: PG-13, R for later chapters

Genre: Drama, Angst, Humor, Romance

Pairings: 3x4, 2+5, 2x5?

Date started: May 29th, 2009

Status: Complete – UNBETAD

Warnings for this chapter: minor swearing, pseudo-sexual situations, discussed violence, angst, bad humor

Author's Note: The point of view changes frequently as indicated by "---". This format can change if it is hard for readers to follow.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. All characters are intellectual and legal property of their respective owners.

---

In the months following my assault I really tried to take Duo's words to heart. I spent a lot of time thinking about what really made me happy and couldn't really peg down any one thing. Finding the one thing that made me happy was a lot harder than it sounded. Over time, Duo and I became closer as friends; closer than we had ever been during the war. It became a habit that, when he wasn't on a mission, Duo would be the one to drive me home. It turned out to be a beneficial arrangement because Sally and Daeton, the one I could never remember, had decided to take their relationship a step further so they were currently spending nights at each others places. It was hard to find Sally alone outside of work anymore. Not that I minded Duo's presence. Quite the opposite in fact, I was more than happy to have him around. We hung out a lot, getting reacquainted so to speak. There were things about him that I was surprised to learn and I'm sure some things about my personality shocked him too.

We shared our pasts, our childhoods and our families – that is, what passed for family in Duo's case. I knew he was an orphan but I hadn't realized he had lived on the streets. Our differences aside, it was very easy to be around him. Inside jokes and friendly quirks became more and more common as we spent time together. Any time Duo picks me up for an analysis session with his team he always leads me along while humming a short but catchy theme song while we're moving. He also loudly narrates the goings on while he's doing it. We also use the old radio voice procedure when we talk on the phone. The "over"s and "rodger"s tends to make Sally fall into a fit of giggles. Another thing about our friendship that frankly scares the crap out of people is that Duo lets me drive myself home sometimes. Granted he's in the passenger seat and he keeps his hand on the wheel, but it's still very exciting for me to try and carefully follow his directions to steer the car and drive myself home. To put it in Duo's words, 'it's awesome!' Though we are both incredibly different people we mesh in a way I never would have expected.

About a week ago, Duo decided I needed to get out more and has been taking me out to bars and restaurants every night since. Usually this ends with various women coming up to proposition us, well Duo mostly. It's amusing since Duo always turns them down politely and then proceeds to allow me guess what was wrong with them. What possible hideous deformation could all those soft-voiced beautiful sounding women have? Harelip, bed-head, lazy eye, pointy teeth? Once I even guessed that the girl's chest was too big which made Duo spit out his drink loudly. I was rather proud of that one. His response that I was right had caught me off guard, although Hilde isn't exactly a busty brunette so I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised at his taste.

There was one particularly gruff sounding lady, almost masculine sounding, that Duo seemed quite interested in but nothing came of it. Well, not that I know anyway. I know he got her number but I wasn't aware of him dating anyone. Duo often asked me what type of woman I might be interested in and I was always honest and consistent. "I'm just not interested in finding another woman. I married once and she was the perfect spouse for me, I lost her and I won't find something like that again. Once was a miracle. Twice is impossible." It was pretty much a moot point since tradition dictates that my family approves or arranges any marriage I may want to have and every relative I had ever known was dead.

Today, Duo left for a short reconnaissance mission to a nearby satellite gunrunner operation so Sally was going to take me out to dinner before dropping me off at home. Somehow she was blackmailed into this by Duo. I have no idea what dirt he might have been able to get on her and I'm sure I don't want to know. We had a seat at the bar instead of taking a table and I heard the gruff sounding lady that Duo was interested in talking across the bar. It was only a few moments later when I heard the voice again a lot closer. "Where's your friend?" she asked, there was no doubt who she was referring to.

"He's away on business." I politely responded figuring that if she didn't know Duo's name then they obviously hadn't hooked up or met up or whatever it's called. She made a gruff disappointed/disgruntled noise. "Well, what about you? You interested?" I could hear Sally shaking with laughter in the seat next to me. "I'm very sorry but no. I'm not interested in dating right now." I tried to put on a charming smile but Sally's laughter was getting to me and I could barely hold it in. What was so wrong with her? "Figures" She muttered and walked away. Finally I turned to Sally and, in an angry whisper, said "What!" Sally just kept laughing for a moment before finally saying "I didn't know you were so accustomed to guys hitting on you!"

"What guy?" I had to ask, a dawning realization spreading like ice down my back. "The guy that was just talking to you!" Sally answered before she lost herself into laughter again. Everything started to click into place. Preferring flat-chests, turning down all those women (probably perfect in every way), and being interested in the gruff voiced MAN I was just talking to. Why didn't I notice this before? My phone started to ring. It was Duo's special ring tone. I flipped it open and answered, ready to confront him when he cut me off with one word. "Hospital" He said, sounding strained. I could hear a cacophony of voices in the background with ambulance and police sirens as the base line. "The one near the landing bay-" Duo was cut off abruptly as the ambulance sirens reached him and what sounded like a female police officer started barking orders in the background.

"We have to go." I said as I got down off my stool and moved away from the bar. I bumped into several people in my haste. Sally was quickly at my arm, pushing me toward the door. As soon as we were outside she demanded to know what was going on. I relayed Duo's message and she was all too eager to get me into her car and out to the Regent Savior Hospital, the one closest to the landing bay. When we got there the emergency room was full of passengers from a damaged transport ship and stated that they had no record of Duo Maxwell arriving. They suggested that Duo and his crew may have been diverted to Sinai Lourdes further in town. Sally quickly ushered me back into her car and really pushed the speed limits to get to the next hospital.

Horrible situations played out before my mind's eye. Broken bones, heavy bleeding, Duo's dead lifeless eyes. I tried to think of all the happy times I had with Duo, and there were a lot, but they were all overshadowed by the devastating fear that I might have lost him. Thankfully we found Duo and the rest of his crew at Sinai Lourdes Hospital. The nurses could only say that the crew was still currently alive. I could only think of my smiling, happy Duo writhing in pain instead of dead. It wasn't much but it was hope. Unfortunately we were forced to wait until they had contacted Duo's nonexistent next of kin. We sat for hours in the private waiting area of the hospital and it was only when the Commander herself showed up that we learned what happened. The report was grim and terrifying. Duo had been shot in the chest, thankfully missing his right lung the bullet had shattered on his shoulder blade, and the shards were proving difficult to extract. I didn't even realize I was hyperventilating until Sally forced my head between my knees.

Une somehow managed to arrange for me to visit with Duo when he was placed in ICU. I don't know how she did it and I don't particularly care. The three of us waited for another half hour before a nurse came to take me into the ICU. The waiting gave me time to really think about the new information I had learned at the bar. I also had the chance to analyze my reaction to the accident. It helped me realize all the things Duo had done for me. Helped me see how horrible my life would be without him. By the time the nurse stopped and held the door open for me to enter Duo's room, I was pretty sure I knew what I was going to say. I had to use my cane to navigate my way into the room, but it was better than being manhandled further by the nurse. The door shut behind me quietly, the decreased noise level inside this room was noticeable. "Duo?" I called out, unsure if he was awake or not.

"Hey, 'Fei" I couldn't help but smile when I heard his tired voice. Thankfully he was coherent enough to talk me into the chair next to his bed. His directions were clear and concise as always. I always felt safe with him. "Glad you could make it." He said as I settled into the chair. Duo sounded so weak and out of it. The thought of him in pain was like an open wound; an unending agony. "Well, you know, I had to cancel my date with Sally for this." I tried to stay glib and cheerful, wouldn't do to have a panic attack right in front of him. I didn't want him to see how much his pain worried and bothered me. "Sorry." He said shakily, I could tell he was trying not to laugh. I couldn't help but smile tentatively. I reached out and found the bed with both my hands. Duo seemed to know what I was looking for and moved his hand under my questing fingers. I held on with both hands and heaved a shaky sigh. Reassured for the first time in several hours I was hard pressed not to cling desperately to his hand.

"May I?" I asked quietly, hoping Duo wouldn't need an explanation. He didn't. He quietly murmured "yes" in response and stayed still and calm as I carefully ran my hands up his arm until I reached his chest and found the hospital gown, soft but false feeling. Just beneath the thin cloth was the first of the bandages covering the surgery scars on his shoulder. Bypassing the bandaged area, I stood and tentatively reached out to trace Duo's face with my hands. I could feel a small bandage on his forehead and a bit of stubble on his chin but he was otherwise perfect. It had taken me so long to see it. I sat back down in my seat and took Duo's hand in mine once again. "Duo?" I paused, waiting for his acknowledgment. "Yeah?" He sounded more awake this time. Like he knew what I was about to say.

"I've found my life's purpose, Duo. I'm not letting go." I squeezed his hand for emphasis. His smile was so loud it was practically singing as he spoke again.

"I'm glad."

---

That's the way Sally found us about an hour later, holding hands and grinning at each other. She didn't intrude. She just winked at me, laid a hand against her stomach, a diamond glittering on her finger and left us there.

---*---*---*---*---

I really hope that made as much sense to all of you as it did to me. Let me know if this needs serious work. I've been working for seven days straight so my mind's not all there at the moment.

Yes this is the end. Sorry. I didn't want this to drag on way too long without a plot. I'm not really feeling a "continue" coming from this story, sorry. The Sally bit was COMPLETELY unplanned, I hope you like it. Thought I'd give you guys some idea of the future… and what Duo was able to blackmail her with. But hopefully the stories I've been working on will fall into order so you might see more of me soon….

Some things that may seem confusing: Wufei hid his preferences all his life because his family traditions and standards don't allow for being different. (This is futurefic, I'm taking liberties) Duo never really hid them, just never brought it up or had reason to mention it. He was probably crushing on 'Fei but never said anything for fear of damaging their relationship. Wufei had been married to Mieran who was completely disinterested in him and he was disinterested in her; they had a perfect marriage. Duo knew he had been married and assumed 'Fei's response (to the dating thing) meant that he truly loved her, which he did in his way I'm sure. But 'Fei really meant that he wasn't interested in women in general.

I had originally intended to make Sally single and leave the ending scene a bit more vague to appease both 5xS and 5x2 fans but I'll always favor 5x2 and Sally really likes Daeton so I felt it was right to make them get together.

Last thing, I'd like to send a huge thank you to EVERY ONE of my readers. You have done wonders for my self-confidence and for that I will be forever grateful. Thanks to all of my lovely reviewers, I truly appreciate every kind word you've said. I really write for all of you, not just for myself. It's important for my work to be seen and I'm glad you've seen it. Thank you.


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